Can't have the green and blue without the brown.

As the Lord would have it...I am back in Honduras as I write this post. It's funny how He works. Less than a week ago, I found this blog that I thought had been lost to the fog of the internet cloud, and now here I am typing a blog looking at the same palm trees I did years ago. 

It's like chatting with an old friend in a familiar coffee shop. 

Honduras is a country of greens and blues. Everywhere you look the bright blue skyline is cut with lush green mountains, dotted with palm trees and pasture land. It is like a beautiful patchwork quilt stitched together by the hand of the Creator. Every time I see it I am amazed at it's beauty. Every time.

Honduras is also a country of browns. In the summer, the dust from the road covers every plant with a brown haze that is sometimes so thick you can't even tell the colors of the flowers. During the winter rains, those same dry dusty roads become so thick with mud the color of caramel and the river churns like a failed chocolate experiment out of Willy Wonka.

The thing is...at first introduction you don't see the brown. You are so overwhelmed by the blues and greens that your brain just sort of doesn't record the dust on the plants. And if you do come to Honduras during the rains you might see the mud on the roads through the rose-colored-lens of adventure and the dangers it hides don't even register.

But if you choose to live here...you will be confronted with it all...and you must choose to accept it all. 

The missionaries here go to great lengths to mitigate potential problems for their service teams. GREAT lengths. There are safety protocols for every scenario they have faced in their many years of experience and every scenario they can imagine...and missionaries have very active imaginations. 

I can't imagine coming to serve in another country and, in my limited experience of the place, think that I know more that those who have come before me. It is a thought so far outside of logic that it seems comical to me. 

To learn a new thing there is always a teacher. The teacher might be a person, or a book, or an experience, or even pain...but there is always a teacher. 

Yet...even still...isn't it this way with us and the Lord? We think we know better.  We think we have the plan. We think...we think...we think...but He knows, and we still fight Him. We still negotiate like Moses. We still run like Jonah. We still hide like Gideon. We still choose sin like David. 

In life, I pray that I am an easy student and a quick study. I have prayed for wisdom and good judgment countless times in my life, and God does not fail to provide. Hardships come, but He never leaves. I pray that I would not fight the Teacher. I hope instead I would pray like Daniel. I would stand like the three in the furnace. I would hold fast like Joseph. I would obey like Noah. I would trust like Job.

The places that God brings us in life will always have greens, blues and browns. This is a fact of a fallen world...sin corrupts...and we must accept the good with the bad. When our plans don't line up with reality the discrepancy must be resolved in one way or another. Either your plans become flexible or the reality of the situation will break you. To be clear - I am not talking about the compromising of biblical values. 

There is no place on this side of heaven that we will experience all highs and no lows. It is my prayer for all of us that the lows cause us to cling to God instead of curse Him. 

The In-Betweens

I feel like I have written this post before...maybe because I have been in this place before. Isn't it funny how life seems to bring you in and out of different songs with the same rhythm? 

In my 43 years of experience, life has been a series of transitions. These are the in-between spaces in life where you know something is ending (but it hasn't yet ended) and another thing is beginning (but it hasn't yet begun). These are probably the most difficult times, and in many cases they are the most rewarding. 

Transitions are necessary to connect the past to the present to the future. 

There is a certain urgency to the transitional spaces. They are meant for you...but they aren't meant to keep you. Like a hallway or a waiting room...you are meant to be there, but you aren't meant to stay there. 

Transitions are the way life events connect together. The beginning and ending of moments would be harsh and painful without the ease of a transition. Cold turkey is just that...it's cold. I have learned to embrace the in-betweens and even enjoy them...although that wasn't always the case. 

For a girl who spent the majority of her life compartmentalizing everything, it has been quite the challenge to accept that those compartments eventually run together. Old me used to have work life, and night life, and church life, and family life, and everything fit neatly in its own little room. I didn't agree to any event or situation where those spaces would connect.

I was in total control. I was safe.

Picture all of those rooms around me in a circle with one door in and out. Every door faced me in the center, and nothing connected. I was the center. I was the gate keeper. I was in control. 

Therefore, I was safe. 

But...there was a problem. I was a different person in each one of those environments. I put on the clothes that fit the situation. I put on the opinions and the personality traits of the person who fit the room before I walked in to the space. In an effort to protect myself...I had lost myself. Or maybe myself never actually developed...because I developed this behavior as a child.

If you thought you knew me then, you didn't...you only knew the part I played for the room...but it wasn't malicious or devious...because I didn't even know myself. 

I didn't even have a self.

The girl in the center of the room was empty...she was just a shell. Step into a room...any room...and she came alive but only in the confines of that space and set of expectations. On her own...she was nothing and she was lonely. 

It was at the loneliest point of my life that God pierced through the darkness with a painless pinprick of life giving light. Through journaling and scripture, I began a dialogue with the God that I always knew was there, but willfully ignored for the majority of my life. He was the silent observer in every situation. He was a patient presence in my life, and in the emptiest moment of my life He was still there whispering to my heart...I know who you are. 

Fast forward twenty years and you see a different person. I am no longer trapped. I am no longer alone. And...maybe, most importantly, I am no longer the center. 

It took a lot of work to break through the walls I had constructed. I thought those boundaries would keep me safe, but I learned that the wrong kind of boundaries can hurt just as much as not having any. 

Now...I welcome the transitions. I can look back and see the way God has used them in my past, and that gives me confidence in His ability to do the same for my future. So if you are in a place in your life where something is ending, but hasn't ended, and something is beginning, but hasn't begun...I encourage you to open yourself up to the guidance of God's word, and choose to trust in His ability. 

He won't fail. He won't. 

Time Flys

It has been 12 years since I typed a post on this blog. 

It has been so long that I wasn't sure the blog was still available...but here it is...floating out in the cloud of online information. When I returned from the mission field a chapter of my life closed...but you cannot know me as a person without knowing me as a missionary. So in an effort to bridge the gap and introduce all of my new friends to my history, I am bringing back Heather's High Points. 

Time is the one and only truly non-renewable resource. I have always purposed to use it wisely. 

It has been a while since I directed any time towards writing and musing, but the time has come again for the revival of this medium and reconnection to my history. If you would like to continue along with this stay tuned. If you want to move on, click the unsubscribe button and I fondly wish you the best. 

So CHEERS to all the new adventures we will have together, while including a link honoring those from the past. 2026 promises to be a wonderful ride.