I think I finally understand what has been going on in my head and my heart lately. Somehow I slipped into thinking that I can do things on my own, without God's help.
Now wait...let me explain...
God has created us with unique gifts. Some of us are great musicians, some are great leaders, administrators, organizers, writers, graphic designers, communictors...the list goes on forever. Since we are made in the image of God it is easy for the Devil to make us think that we are equal with God.
Hold on...I know what you are thinking...It's not that we think we are God, it's that we think we are capable of goodness on our own. It is easy for us to claim God's glory as our own. When others compliment our work and speak highly of us to others, if we aren't careful we begin to think we did all that good stuff.
Romans 3:23 says that we all fall short of God's glorious standard. Every one of us, no matter how talented we are, no matter how beautiful, and no matter how wealthy we all fall short. That means we can't do anything alone that even has a hint of goodness in it...let alone greatness.
So my problem...some where deep in my heart I began to take God's glory for myself. I didn't realize I was even doing it...until I was humbled. God brought me back down to size. He let me see how "capable" I was. I got overwhelmed. I fell apart.
The great thing about God is that He is there to pick up all of the pieces. He knows we are going to mess up. He knows we will fall short, that is the whole reason for Jesus. Once my stubborn mind opened up to Him, He was able to show me where I got off course. It wasn't until I hit the ground that I realized I was falling.
Lord help me stay humble before you! The things He has planned for me are WAY bigger than I am. I will need Him every step of the way.