Dec 28, 2009

20 Days

It has been 20 days since I have posted a blog. This doesn't mean, however, that I haven't sat down at my computer to write. It doesn't mean that I haven't thought about my friends out there or that I haven't wanted to share what is happening in this thing called life.

It still boils down to the fact that I haven't hit the "Publish Post" button in 20 days.

How much can a person change in 20 days. It hasn't been quite a month, but it still seems like an eternity since I have connected with you.

T-w-e-n-t-y -- D-a-y-s

I have been wading through the countdown until I depart for Honduras. I can hear the birds calling me and I can even feel the humid air on my skin and smell the wet earth...but I am not there. Not yet. My mind is split and so is my heart because returning to Honduras means leaving here. In the span of 3 and 1/2 months this place has become my home again. I have found some sense of routine and I have seen my family and friends on a pretty regular began to feel normal for a while.

But the truth home is in God, not in a place or in a person. He is reminding me of that fact, ever so sweetly, but still there is a bit of a nudging that calls out, "Heather, wake up."

There is a call on my life...the call to serve, and I hear it so strongly now that my ears burn and my teeth chatter. It is a pull on my heart that I cannot ignore, even if I wanted to. As we learned from Jonah...there is no use in running away. Instead we must run into His arms and let Him chart our course.

Father, I am here. Make my feet beautiful carriers of the gospel. Make my hands fit to care for your people.

It breaks my heart to leave a place and people that I love, but it would break my heart not to. It is the strangest feeling...the place where you come to the end of yourself and you find the beginning of your Creator. A place called surrender.

So, I guess a lot can happen in 20 days. So much that you can't put a name to it, so much that the timeline blurs together and your feelings end up in a great big ball with no beginning, no end, no rhyme or reason. But the Lord brings peace. He brings light. He brings everything that I can't, and I love Him for that.

I return to Honduras on Saturday January 2nd. In less than a week things will be shaken up all over again, haha. Please pray that I find my place before things get busy and carry me away. I need to be grounded. I need to be a part of the Vine if I am going to produce fruit.

I love you all, and I am so sorry for being gone so long.

Dec 8, 2009

Ships Passing

I have been writing personal notes to put with a brochure I am sending out, and I keep thinking... "Man, I love these people!" I was sad for a moment when I thought about all the chances we miss to get together or all the times we are too busy to communicate the way we would like to. There are some people in this world that God gives you a special connection with...that no matter where you are in life or in the world when you see them, you can pick right back up with love and laughter and inspiring conversation.

God spoke to I was writing to someone's funny how He does that. You know that saying, "ships passing in the night"? People say it all the time. Well, it used to make me sad. Like you never got to see your friends or the people you really cared about because you were too busy with life BUT God sowed me something else.

He gave me the image of a dark night out on the open seas. I was a ship, sailing the course He had give me. I was focused. I was making progress. I knew that I was gaining ground for Him. Then I looked out over the water to my left, and saw a light in the distance. I knew at that moment it was the light of a friend of mine, and she was sailing the course God had given her. I was comforted by her light because I knew that she was doing the same thing I was. Even though I couldn't be with her in person I felt connected to her though God.

Sometimes in life we can't see everyone we want. We can't hug them as long as we would like. We can't cook them a meal or share a lengthly conversation. But God gives us something better! When we have an eternal perspective, we realize that the time we have on this earth is just an appetizer. We are doing His work. We are about the Father's business. We can look out across the ocean and see the light of Christ shining from every ship in the water and be comforted that we will be able to spend eternity with them in heaven. We will have all the time we need, because time won't even matter.

So be comforted. Be encouraged. Know that I love you and that I think about you. I see your light off in the distance and I pray for it to shine brighter so I can see you better! In times such as these we have to be about the Father's business because there are so many people out there who can't see past today...let alone see into eternity. But we have hope in Christ that we will be together forever! WOW!

Dec 1, 2009

Kernels of Thanks?

As we sat around the Thanksgiving table last week our plates loaded down with food, the room filled with fond memories of years past and smiles decorated all of our grandfather said, "You will notice a pile of corn kernels in front of your plate. Every time you think of something you are thankful for just throw one into the center of the table." As everyone began to understand the assignment he added, "And no one is keeping count."

Needless to say by the end of the meal we had all managed to transfer all of our kernels to the center of the table. There are so many things to be thankful for in this world, but that day my kernels seemed to represent the things that live at home...things in my heart and the people around me.

Later that night we all sat around drinking tea or coffee and finishing off the last bit of pecan pie we began talking about plans for the next year. Usually these conversations revolve around decisions that need to be made, the economy and the state of our homes...they are sprinkled with fantasies of travel and spiced with stories of love, but when the conversation settles on me things get a little bit tense.

This year, as the tensions began to rise I realized something. It is something I have known all along, but I guess I never put the pieces of the puzzle together or maybe I never stepped back to take in the complete picture. Everyone in that room, regardless of whether we see eye to eye on every issue, loves me and cares for me. The concerns they have for my future, my wellbeing, my comfort drive their questions and even thought they make me bristle sometimes I am grateful for them.

I am blessed with a family that cares enough about me to risk asking the tough questions. They love me enough to take a chance at hurting my feelings. As I was writing in my journal that night...I wished I had a whole handful of kernels left that I could throw into the center of the table. I love my family and they love me...not everyone can say that, and I am so thankful for them.

So here's to family! Remember as you walk through the rest of the holiday season, that usually the things that bug you about your family really stem from the qualities you love about them. Walk in grace and love them back. I love you guys!