My heart beats faster with the thought of being back. My mind races at all of the things before me this year...and all of the things left to do before I go. I am stretched tight like a rubber band.
I have been on an emotional roller coaster for the past couple of months. This re-entry business is a lot harder than I planned...so now I can only assume that the re-entry back into Honduras is going to be difficult as well. I hadn't planned on that. I hadn't even thought about it until right now as I am writing this blog.
I am learning new things every day. For example, I have begun to feel the pressure, the resistance of the devil. It may sound weird, but I am understanding what it means to be on the front lines of a spiritual battle. I am not hiding somewhere hoping the enemy won't find me...I am walking into the lion's den...on purpose. HA! I feel buffeted, like the wind is always at me and the only place I find real refuge is in the arms of my King.
This year will be about new battles. We can't live in the past glories...we can't live off of the success we had last year as a ministry. We have to press forward, deeper into what God has for us...and that means...we are going into the heart of the enemy's camp. More than ever...I need your prayers for favor, mercy, protection, grace, discernment, wisdom, good judgment...a repentant heart, discipline, integrity, honesty...love...whatever God lays on your heart. Maybe you guys can't be there with me, but you can hold me up by your prayers.
I have so many things to be thankful for. I can't even begin to list them, and somehow I think it makes them sound trivial. But more than anything, I am thankful for a God who gave his son for me...who pursued me relentlessly and loved me unconditionally. I find my strength in Him. I find my peace in Him. He is what I am not.