Jul 30, 2008
While I was emailing a friend today this very thing happened. I just wanted to send a little note to let him know someone from BR was keeping up with him, and wham...God gave me a little nugget. I was telling Caleb how things were going for Honduras and then when I reread the email I saw this:
"so i am gearing up for the move. it's hard to be here and there at the same time...but i think i will probably feel this way for the rest of my life. caught between this and that, here and there. i should learn to love it in that place. a place where God is the constant, the thread holding my life together. "
Please pray that I would do just that...not depend on my surroundings for encouragement or comfort but depend only on God who is everywhere I will ever be. If I can really be at home where ever He is then I will be at home everywhere He sends me.
Jul 25, 2008
If faith is believing in what we do not see we have to develop another way to find God's blessing.
We can't look for it because it isn't there yet...we would continually say "Is this it?" "Oh this is definately the blessing I've been looking for!" "This has got to be it!" "I know this is from God." That is not faith...that is a sure set up for dissappointment...believe me. I have been looking for blessing under every rock and I have not found anything yet.
What we have to do is look to God and expect the blessing to come. If we have faith then we believe it is going to happen. We prayed for it. We felt a peace. We know God heard our cry. If we keep looking for the answer around every corner then are we really trusting God to provide in His timing...in his way?
No, I fear that in doing this we are really trying to fit God into our idea of what the answer to the prayer will look like. If we, instead, life up the prayer, look to God in faith and basiclly just try to forget we have the need altogether, God will suprise us with an answer that is abundant...more than we could ever hope for, imagine or dream!
John 13:7 "You do not realize now what I am doing but later you will understand."
I definately don't understand what God is doing in a lot of different areas of my life, my family's lives and the world, but that is no suprise because in Isaiah 55 He told us that His ways are higher than ours. That is where the faith come is.
So I have decided to stop looking for it and look to God instead...expectantly. I challenge you to do the same thing!
Jul 23, 2008
Right alongside this season of waiting has been a season of trusting. Trusting that God will provide. Trusting that He will take care of my family...I mean the guy has the whole world in the palm of His hand, right.
It has seemed like forever. Waiting and trusting takes a long time, but in reality it has only been about a month. So much has happened in this month that I have not really thanked God for. It took Israel 40 years to get to know God, to understand His character and they still got a lot wrong after all that time.
Now I see that along with waiting and trusting should always be praising. We can't just give God props when everything is going like we think it should. We should want to praise Him all of the time and for everything He does for us and to us.
I read something this morning and it really got me..."If you are really in God like you should be then anything that gets to you has been allowed by God to reach you. We should be thankful..." WOW! That paints a picture...I thought of being inside a God bubble and Him approving everything that came inside that bubble. Some of the things I like and some of the things I didn't. Some of them hurt me and some of them were awesome...but they all had purpose, they all took part in shaping me. Therefore I should be grateful, thankful even, for every challenge, every wait, every opportunity to trust and I should PRAISE God in all things.
I'm glad it only took a month for me to figure that one out. I don't want to have to go another 39 years and 11 months without praising God like He deserves. He is my rescuer, my savior, my provider. He is almighty, benevolent, caring, discerning, Elohim, father, great, healer, impassioned, just, kind, love, merciful, near, omniscient, present, quiet, righteous, sinless, trustworthy, unchanging, victorious, worthy, exalted, yearns for us, and He is Zion.
So learn this lesson quick. Through the waiting and trusting make sure you are also praising the God who gave everything for a chance to save you.
Jul 22, 2008
Jul 14, 2008
Hannah, Kristina and I
Jul 11, 2008
WOW. How true this is. I find myself doing this all the time. It's an unconscious tendency so it is a hard one to break. Have you ever found yourself thinking the problem you are facing is bigger than God? Then you do it too!
Let's try and change this together. Next time we are faced with a struggle let's follow these steps:
- Rejoice: I know that sounds weird. But the bible tells us to find joy in our struggles.
- Look: See this as an opportunity for God to be glorified.
- Worship: Praise God for who He is. Remind Him that you serve Him because He is worthy not because of what He does for you.
- Release: Trust God with the outcome.
- Stand: Let your faith be tested and grown by standing firm in what you believe.
Jul 9, 2008
The brand NEW HPC worship album is out! This was a LIVE recording from the Amplified weekend I posted about a few months ago. You have got to get yourself a copy of this!
It is an incredible sound...the sound of a new generation crying out for God and making Jesus famous! Check it out here...http://www.healingplacemusic.com/epicworship/
Here are some of the lyrics..right out of the heart of HPC:
SEARCH MY HEART
words and music by Tabitha Montalbano
Jesus, all my days I live to lift You high
Take my heart, I remain in You
Change my life, 'til the old is new
Search my heart
Show me anything I'm holding back from You
Jesus I, live a life to please no one but You
Are there words to speak the glories of Your name
All the love You've given I cannot contain
Standing strong, for the faith in me
Lift You up so the world may see
I can't contain it
This love I hold
This world won't take it
This love that I know
And may you have the power to understand, as all God's people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love really is.
I can't help but think of God's majesty when I see His work in the world He created.
Some of the group got together on fourth of July to celebrate the country's independence by playing llama into the wee hours of the morning. It was great fun. Shouting "LLAMA" as you throw your last card down to win the game is sooooo invigorating!
When I went to Peru last year I had the pleasure of meeting a real llama. I met a bunch of them actually and we had lunch together...OK it was more like I fed them, cause I just can't bring myself to eat raw alfalfa. Here is the proof...me with a 100% real, living, breathing llama.
Don't be jealous. LOL.
I just know she is going to become even more beautiful as she discovers a deeper relationship with her creator. My prayer for her has always been that she sees her value. That she realizes what a treasure she is. That she takes hold of what God has planned for her, without fear, totally trusting in Him.
I love you mama!
I know I am a few days behind, but I am feeling freer than ever! I am still waiting. I am still trusting. My circumstances have not changed much, but my spirit is soaring! I have taken hold of some great freedoms in the past week. It has not been easy to hold onto them, but with God's help I will never let them go!
I declare freedom from manipulation. I declare freedom from destructive relationships. I declare freedom from shame. I declare freedom from fear and failure.
Jesus had victory over these things at the cross, I am a little late realizing this, but better late than never, right? Right! Something that I have to keep realizing over and over again is that these things only have as much power over me as I give them.
It's like a bully in the lunch room. He only bullies the people who let him bully. He won't take on the strong willed or the ones already protected. And that is exactly what I am! I am protected. I am strong willed.
And now I am choosing to live like it! I am standing my ground. I am standing in love. I am standing in forgiveness. I am standing in discernment. I am standing in grace and truth.
Will you stand with me? Will you stand for these things in your own life? Will you be free in Christ?
God has really been speaking to me out of Isaiah..it is every where! It has been so good to find comfort in His word during this season. I read this devotion today...it has been one of many that have spoken directly to my situation this past week.
The verse was, Isaiah 48:10... "I have refined you, but not as silver is refined. Rather I have refined you in the furnace of suffering."
Pain's furnace within me quivers,
God's breath upon the flame does blow;
And all my heart in anguish shivers
And trembles at the fiery glow;
And yet I whisper, "As God will!"
And in the hottest fire hold still.
He comes and lays my heart, all heated,
On the hard anvil, minded so
Into His own fair shape to beat it
With His great hammer, blow on blow,
And yet I whisper, "As God will!"
And at His heaviest blow hold still.
He takes my softened heart and beats it;
The sparks fly off at every blow;
He turns it o'er and o'er and heats it,
And lets is cool and makes it glow;
And yet I whisper, "As God will!"
And in His mighty hand hold still.
Why should I complain? For the sorrow
Then only linger-lived would be;
The end may come, and will tomorrow,
When God has done His work in me;
And yet I whisper, "As God will!"
And trusting to the end, hold still.
It is possible to feel like you have been forgotten by God; however it is impossible to actually be forgotten by Him. You see, Isaiah 49:14-16 says,
“Yet Jerusalem says, ‘The Lord has deserted us; the Lord has forgotten us.’ Never! Can a mother forget her nursing child? But even if that were possible, I would not forget you! See, I have written your name on the palm of my hands.”
Our feelings change with the wind. Our emotions are ruled by our surroundings. Therefore, we should trust the Word of God above our feelings, above the emotions that try to overtake us.
This is a promise from God.
He will never forget us. He will never leave us. No matter how forgotten you feel. No matter how lonely, tired, isolated, or withdrawn you have been He has your name written on the palms of His hands. The same hands that hold the world.
So be comforted friends, as I have been, by these words. These promises are unchanging. They stand forever…yesterday, today and tomorrow.
Jul 2, 2008
OK, you have probably read the earlier post on waiting...and if you have been reading since then you probably picked up on a pattern in my posts.
Yes I am waiting for something. You guys are so smart.
There are a lot of things I am waiting on and still trying my best not to worry about them, but there is one thing in particular that I need you help with. I am waiting for a job. It is out there...just beyond my grasp but I know it is there and I know it is for me.
I am reaching the end of my own strength...sound familiar?
I am running out of money which is not surprising to me at all, but it is still a little concerning. I am running out of time, there are only 5 months left between here and Honduras. But there is something else that I am running out of and I can't quite put my finger on it.
Whatever it is... it hurts me to think I don't have enough of it. I am leaning hard on God. He has whatever it is that I need. If you have some time...a minute or two in the morning, before you eat lunch, while you are in the bathroom, whenever God leads you...please pray for me.
Pray that I will lean on God. Pray that I will trust Him. Pray that I will savor the wait. Pray that I will have victory over the fear that is threatening my peace of mind. I need you guys. I need your prayers. I need your help...now more than ever.
Jul 1, 2008
A friend of mine once told me that patience is waiting and being happy about it. I am trying to learn to savor this season of waiting. It is not as easy as one might think.
So what would the definition of savor be? Waiting and being so happy about it that you wish you could linger there a little longer?
Please pray that I would learn to savor this waiting season as well as all the seasons to come. I want to soak up everything I can from where ever I am.
I shared part of my testimony with them to show the amazing power of God at work in me. I told them you don't have to be perfect to serve God...you just have to be willing.
The night was so full of the Holy Ghost! God was there during the English service at 5pm. We had an incredible time of worship and followed the service with baptism. Then the Spanish Youth service started at 7:30 and His presence filled the room a second time. It is so cool to be able to sing to Him in another language...we sing the same songs, to the same God in different languages all around the world! So cool.
After I shared about Africa, we did a little Q & A. One question was, "What motivated you to go all the way to Africa?" I started to tell them about my nutrition degree and how I wanted to help hungry kids all over the world. But then something really cool started to happen...I shared something God gave to me in worship earlier that night.
He showed me a great hall with tons of tables set for dinner and everyone had their place to sit. God was sitting at the head table with Jesus but he didn't look happy, he looked concerned. He was looking around for people that weren't there. He noticed that there were empty seats and he was asking Jesus where they were. I was overwhelmed. I mean...all those people were already there. The party was kickin, but He was worried about the ones that weren't there yet.
He love us so much. He knows when we aren't with Him. That's why I am motivated to be a missionary. Of course I still want to do the nutrition thing, but it is much more than that. God loved me enough to notice that I wasn't there...He missed me. Is He missing one of those kids from Swazi or one of the patients I will see in Honduras? Is He missing you?