It still boils down to the fact that I haven't hit the "Publish Post" button in 20 days.
How much can a person change in 20 days. It hasn't been quite a month, but it still seems like an eternity since I have connected with you.
T-w-e-n-t-y -- D-a-y-s
I have been wading through the countdown until I depart for Honduras. I can hear the birds calling me and I can even feel the humid air on my skin and smell the wet earth...but I am not there. Not yet. My mind is split and so is my heart because returning to Honduras means leaving here. In the span of 3 and 1/2 months this place has become my home again. I have found some sense of routine and I have seen my family and friends on a pretty regular basis...it began to feel normal for a while.
But the truth is...my home is in God, not in a place or in a person. He is reminding me of that fact, ever so sweetly, but still there is a bit of a nudging that calls out, "Heather, wake up."
There is a call on my life...the call to serve, and I hear it so strongly now that my ears burn and my teeth chatter. It is a pull on my heart that I cannot ignore, even if I wanted to. As we learned from Jonah...there is no use in running away. Instead we must run into His arms and let Him chart our course.
Father, I am here. Make my feet beautiful carriers of the gospel. Make my hands fit to care for your people.
It breaks my heart to leave a place and people that I love, but it would break my heart not to. It is the strangest feeling...the place where you come to the end of yourself and you find the beginning of your Creator. A place called surrender.
So, I guess a lot can happen in 20 days. So much that you can't put a name to it, so much that the timeline blurs together and your feelings end up in a great big ball with no beginning, no end, no rhyme or reason. But the Lord brings peace. He brings light. He brings everything that I can't, and I love Him for that.
I return to Honduras on Saturday January 2nd. In less than a week things will be shaken up all over again, haha. Please pray that I find my place before things get busy and carry me away. I need to be grounded. I need to be a part of the Vine if I am going to produce fruit.
I love you all, and I am so sorry for being gone so long.