Sep 29, 2009

HPSM Chapel

Today I had the great opportunity of participating in a panel discussion with Natalie Spera and Brandon Bourgeois at HPSM Chapel. All three of us are HPSM graduates (although it was called Elevate in our day) and we are all currently working in full time ministry.

It was such an honor to speak into the lives of the interns...what an incredible class they are! I can remember what it was like to be in the audience...just scribbling down notes as fast as I could...trying to soak it all in. We had access to some of the greatest staff members, teachers and guest speakers...and to think that I was on the stage was really cool.

It made me think about this new phase of my life. I am no longer an intern...I am a full time missionary. Of course I am still being led by people in my life...but I am also leading people. I am thinking on this new concept of being led to lead.

You will never ever out grow your need for God, we will always be students in His house...but now I have the responsibility to feed into help others be more successful. My heart is still bent on being an armor bearer. I want to help others be the best possible version of themselves. I want to let the struggles of my life become stepping stones for others. So that maybe...just maybe they will go a little bit farther than I did.

Sep 22, 2009

God Moments

Last night I went to HP Women, which is a once a month service at HPC just for the girls. To be honest...I didn't want to go. That's right, I said it...I wanted to stay home. I wanted to be anywhere where there weren't a lot of people. I tried to get out of attending a couple of different times, but God kept shooting me down. So out of obedience to Him, I went to the service.

Let me tell you...I was definitely supposed to be there. I was able to touch base with people I hadn't had a chance to see yet, and meet a girl that I wanted to connect with once I got back. It was great to see friendly faces and get lots of hugs, but the best part was a scripture shared at the beginning of service.

It was shared by none other than my mentor...who didn't know I was at service...and who was going to share something all together different, but God spoke to her and she obeyed. She shared Isaiah 41:10-13 and it spoke to my heart, like God was in the room whispering it in my ear. It says,
"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. All who rage against you will surely be ashamed and disgraced; those who oppose you will be as nothing and perish. Though you search for your enemies, you will not find them. Those who wage war against you will be as nothing at all. For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you." (emphasis mine)
I remember all of the times I let fear and worry creep into my mind. All of the times I focused on the problem and not on God...and I had to repent. I thought I was doubting my ability to accomplish the task at hand...but in reality I was doubting God's ability to provide., I am starting over and I am going to walk like God is holding my right hand...I am going to walk with confidence that the God of Israel is going to help me.

Sep 21, 2009

What am I learning?

Remember that blog I wrote a while back about balance (Happily Unbalanced)...well it definitely applies to what I am feeling right now. How do you balance life and ministry...especially when ministry is your life...not just an appendage.

I am learning a lot about planning, intentional connections, expectations, name it, I think I am learning it right now. Somethings you can learn ahead of know you take a class or listen to advice from someone who has already been around the block. Then other times you have to learn while you are doing it...this means mistakes...and lots of them.

So here I go...fastening my seat belt and hanging on for the ride. It is going to be bumpy for sure.

Paul says, in 2 Cor 6:10, "Our hearts ache, but we always have joy." I think I am learning the truth behind that statement. Just walking it out, one day at a time.

Sep 18, 2009

Where am I?

It has been a whirlwind of activity and changing locations for the past few days, but I have landed safely in Louisiana. It has been wonderful to see family and friends and I am starting to get adjusted to life in the USA.

I am still in the "Hey girl how are you doing?" --> "I am doing great!" stage of conversations...but hopefully that will transition quickly back into fulfilling experiences with those closest to me. I am a bit awkward in this fast paced, technology saturated, stimulating society...but I am enjoying the high speed internet connection :)

It is nice to take a breather every now and then...allowing yourself to settle into what ever is going to happen next. Life with God is definitely a faith adventure. Most of the time I am just hanging on for the ride. Then when I think I've got it all figured out and I get to a place where I can make decisions for the good of the Kingdom...I realize how much I depend on the One who made it all in the first place.

Call it what you will...a season of life...a transition period... a time of stretching...whatever it is God. I have come with the expectation that He is in control...that He is guiding me, and the He is going to show up and show off BIG. For once in my life I don't have a 7 point plan of how to get from point A to point B...and God is asking me to be OK with that.

What is going on in your life? What are your expectations? Are you seeking opportunities to glorify God? Are you afraid to take the faith jump? Are you holding on to something that is holding you back?

I don't know where you are or really even who you are...but I care about you, and I want the absolute best for your life. Live in a state of expectancy. Even if you don't know what to expect... expect God, and you won't be disappointed.

Sep 13, 2009

Coming Home

Today I wrote an email to a friend and I said..."One day, my mind and my body will be in the same country at the same time." I don't know if this will ever come true for me...but, hey, a girl can dream!

My mind has constantly been wandering to the States these past few days. I have been wondering what my days will look like, how I will spend time with my family and I will lead a happily unbalanced life in the first world for the next few months.

I am so thankful for the time I was given in Honduras, and I know I will be as equally thankful for the time I have in the States. God never wastes anything!

So I am putting on my happy face, and as I set out tomorrow with my 2 best friends and all of our luggage...I will be looking into a future that is much brighter than my past...and I can't wait to see what happens!

Can you believe after 2 years and 444 blog entries, I have gone from an Elevate Intern to a Full Time Missionary?

All I can really do is thank God.

Thank You, Thank You, Thank You.

Sep 4, 2009

Not Sure What to Call This Blog...

I have this overwhelming need to blog right now, but there are so many things bouncing around in my head and my heart that I don't even know where to start. I don't know which one to grab on to and lay out for you. I don't know which ones will take us down the road of self discovery only to end at the brick wall of a back alley.

I do not feel confused. Emotional, yes...but not confused. I know where I am going and that is so comforting. I have a vision and a plan...and normally those two things would energize me and fuel my desire to move forward toward the horizon, but today...I am paralyzed.

I feel as if I am standing on a road and when I look in one direction I see memories dancing in front of me. They remind me of the past 10 months and how sweet they were. In the other direction I see great responsibility and even a little bit of uncertainty.

I have a burden for the people of Honduras and a call to serve them. I know that God will provide for me. I know that he will carry me. Sometimes I have to fight the urge to stomp my feet and cry like a little girl...sometimes I don't want to grow up, and I want someone else to make the decisions for me.

But these are the stretching times...these are the growing pains that will take me from one level to the next. Honestly...this hurts a little. My heart is being pulled...I have to leave things undone and projects unfinished...which means I have to trust God for bigger and bigger things.

So here's to trusting in a trustworthy God. Even though I am faced with uncertainty, I will trust Him. Even though I am scared, I will trust Him. I will call Him: Rescuer, Redeemer and Friend.

Yo lo conozco el como Consuelo, Proveedor y Salvador.

Sep 1, 2009

Sweet Around the Salty

You know not everything in life is sweet...otherwise all of us salt loving people would be out of luck. Although I am a salt lover, I never understood the reasoning behind putting salt on watermelon or oranges or cantaloupe. It just seems wrong to me. One time I asked my Paw Paw why he did such an awful thing...and his response was that it makes the watermelon taste sweeter.


I was completely baffled. For some reason I had this crazy thought that putting salt on things made them taste salty. I could I have been led astray all these years? So I gave it a go...pulled out my slice of watermelon and gave it a sprinkle. I took a healthy Heather-sized bite of...yep you guessed it...salty watermelon. Foiled again. Gone was the sweet tasting watermelon my sense of smell had promised.

All I tasted was salt!

How could that be? Paw Paw said it was supposed to taste sweeter! He wouldn't lie to me, he loves me. I was so confused.

Years later, I think I finally understand the sweet and salty concept. You have to taste the sweet around the salty. If you go through life concentrating on all of the will miss out on the sweet stuff. And if everything in your life tasted sweet you would throw up the first time you got a hold of the salt shaker.

You know that saying..."you are not worth your salt"? I did a little research and it means you aren't worth what you were paid for...not worth your wages. That's a kicker...cause it's true.

Jesus gave up his life for us. We are not worth our salt, but he paid for us anyway. By offering up his life, he is allowing us to have some of the sweet things, but we will never live on this earth without the salty.

So I think I will try and look at life more like my Paw Paw... and taste the sweet around the salty. Anybody in?