Apr 9, 2008
I have been house-sitting for some friends of mine this week. It has been nice to have some time alone (out of the Elevate apartments) to reflect and to just relax. But after the first day I started to realize I wasn't enjoying this as much as I thought I would.
You see, before I started Elevate I lived by myself, just me and my dog, and I loved it! I loved the quiet; I loved the solitude. So I was looking at this time of house-sitting as a return to that. You know rest, relaxation and some much needed time alone. But something wasn't right. I have been sort of floating through this empty minded.
Then today it hit me. I think God was showing me that I am not satisfied with that life anymore becasue the call on my life is different now. The year I spent living alone was in preparation for this phase of my life. I think this week he is showing me that I won't be satisfied if I go back to the life I had before Elevate. I won't be satisfied unless I walk in the path He has carved out for me. It would be so simple to slide back into that life.
There was nothing wrong with it...I served God, spent lots of time in prayer and reading my bible, I served at HPC and attended some great life groups. I grew a lot in that year. But God is calling me to move forward not backward. It is so cool that He gave me a glimpse of that life so now I know without a doubt that I won't be satisfied with that right now.
I am so excited about my future with Christ but I am not disillusioned about the sacrifices I will have to make. I count the cost of this life everyday before I get out of bed but I know there is such a satisfaction, a purpose in it, that keeps me going.