I guess since my sister just had a baby I have been thinking about my life as a potential mother. I really do want to get married and have a pack of little Heathers running around but the family pictures are going to look a little different. Instead of having a fake printed "spring" background they will have tropical mountains, waterfalls, sand dunes, breath taking lakes and more sky than you can ever imagine.
I really wish my whole family would understand the dreams that are in my heart. God says in Isaiah that His ways are higher than our ways and His thoughts are higher than our thoughts. He also says that what is wise to the world is foolish in the kingdom of heaven. It is really hard to explain what I feel in my heart without sounding irresponsible.
The world would have me stuck in school for another 2-5 years and then stuck in an office for the next 30 until I had a million dollars in escro and I could retire in style...the American dream, I guess. My dream is different though. I want to serve God. I want to make an eternal difference. I want my treasure to be measured in smiles on the faces God's children.
It does hurt a little to know that the people you love think you don't have it right but I guess it will have to do. I don't mind looking irresponsible because I have been responsible my whole life. I trust that my God will take care of me. I believe that if I ever slow down and return to the States that I will be provided for. I trust that insurance and electricity will be paid. The Bible says...seek first the kingdom of God and all the rest will be added to you.
I know that my God is faithful. I know that He has placed a dream in my heart. I know that I need to fight for it. I know that I need to protect it. I know that I need to stay at His feet. Please stand in prayer with me on these things. I need your help more than you will ever realize. I need your strength and your love and your encouragement.
1 comment:
You reading my mail? :) Just kidding but for real... we have already talked about this before but our lives are not going to be the average life. At times that excites me but sometimes that scares me. I want whatever to happen be because God was at work in it. Not because of my own wants, but in the long run I want my wants to also become the same as what God wants. I want my heart to be in line with His heart. And that right there EXCITES me! :)
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