Team…Work

 

One ox is a huge help to the farmer. The strength of this animal pulls the plow through the field so much easier than if the farmer had to pull it alone. For a small garden, the farmer and his ox could complete its work quickly and efficiently.

But…

What if you had acres and acres to plow and only one ox? Even though you are very grateful to have the ox, when you look at the amount of work to be done it might feel like you and your ox are just a drop in the bucket.

“Teamwork makes the dream work.” Mark and I say that phrase so often that I hear my kids repeating it when they are trying to convince their siblings to help them accomplish something that they don’t want to do on their own.

Could they do it on their own…yes. But… the work would be long and hard and maybe even a little lonely.

Sometimes the Farmer needs one ox to do a job, and sometimes the He needs a team of them.

Finding our place in the Body of Christ, using the spiritual gifts and talents that He has given us to share His love, and continually putting on the humility and grace that is required by teamwork are the labors of a Christian.

The project we work on and where we do it are not as important as the heart from which we operate.

When a team of oxen get together the farmer is sure to yoke them long before they get to the field. If he doesn’t they will run all over the place and destroy the ground. The yoke organizes them and distributes the weight of the plow evenly across the animals. A team of oxen can pull a much larger plow than one ox…but only because of the yoke.

As Christians we have to choose whether or not to join the team. We have to choose to put on the yoke and pull the plow with our fellow believers. And most importantly, we have to choose to be humble and gracious with one another every day.

The sense of fulfillment received while working shoulder to shoulder with other believers can be one of the greatest joys experienced in this life. This has definitely been true for me.

Lord, help us discover our spiritual gifts and talents, and use them to share your love in practical ways. Help us hear your call to join a team of Christians working towards the great commission. And most importantly, help us remember that the we had to be forgiven just as much as the person working next to us.

Can't have the green and blue without the brown.

As the Lord would have it...I am back in Honduras as I write this post. It's funny how He works. Less than a week ago, I found this blog that I thought had been lost to the fog of the internet cloud, and now here I am typing a blog looking at the same palm trees I did years ago. 

It's like chatting with an old friend in a familiar coffee shop. 

Honduras is a country of greens and blues. Everywhere you look the bright blue skyline is cut with lush green mountains, dotted with palm trees and pasture land. It is like a beautiful patchwork quilt stitched together by the hand of the Creator. Every time I see it I am amazed at it's beauty. Every time.

Honduras is also a country of browns. In the summer, the dust from the road covers every plant with a brown haze that is sometimes so thick you can't even tell the colors of the flowers. During the winter rains, those same dry dusty roads become so thick with mud the color of caramel and the river churns like a failed chocolate experiment out of Willy Wonka.

The thing is...at first introduction you don't see the brown. You are so overwhelmed by the blues and greens that your brain just sort of doesn't record the dust on the plants. And if you do come to Honduras during the rains you might see the mud on the roads through the rose-colored-lens of adventure and the dangers it hides don't even register.

But if you choose to live here...you will be confronted with it all...and you must choose to accept it all. 

The missionaries here go to great lengths to mitigate potential problems for their service teams. GREAT lengths. There are safety protocols for every scenario they have faced in their many years of experience and every scenario they can imagine...and missionaries have very active imaginations. 

I can't imagine coming to serve in another country and, in my limited experience of the place, think that I know more that those who have come before me. It is a thought so far outside of logic that it seems comical to me. 

To learn a new thing there is always a teacher. The teacher might be a person, or a book, or an experience, or even pain...but there is always a teacher. 

Yet...even still...isn't it this way with us and the Lord? We think we know better.  We think we have the plan. We think...we think...we think...but He knows, and we still fight Him. We still negotiate like Moses. We still run like Jonah. We still hide like Gideon. We still choose sin like David. 

In life, I pray that I am an easy student and a quick study. I have prayed for wisdom and good judgment countless times in my life, and God does not fail to provide. Hardships come, but He never leaves. I pray that I would not fight the Teacher. I hope instead I would pray like Daniel. I would stand like the three in the furnace. I would hold fast like Joseph. I would obey like Noah. I would trust like Job.

The places that God brings us in life will always have greens, blues and browns. This is a fact of a fallen world...sin corrupts...and we must accept the good with the bad. When our plans don't line up with reality the discrepancy must be resolved in one way or another. Either your plans become flexible or the reality of the situation will break you. To be clear - I am not talking about the compromising of biblical values. 

There is no place on this side of heaven that we will experience all highs and no lows. It is my prayer for all of us that the lows cause us to cling to God instead of curse Him. 

The In-Betweens

I feel like I have written this post before...maybe because I have been in this place before. Isn't it funny how life seems to bring you in and out of different songs with the same rhythm? 

In my 43 years of experience, life has been a series of transitions. These are the in-between spaces in life where you know something is ending (but it hasn't yet ended) and another thing is beginning (but it hasn't yet begun). These are probably the most difficult times, and in many cases they are the most rewarding. 

Transitions are necessary to connect the past to the present to the future. 

There is a certain urgency to the transitional spaces. They are meant for you...but they aren't meant to keep you. Like a hallway or a waiting room...you are meant to be there, but you aren't meant to stay there. 

Transitions are the way life events connect together. The beginning and ending of moments would be harsh and painful without the ease of a transition. Cold turkey is just that...it's cold. I have learned to embrace the in-betweens and even enjoy them...although that wasn't always the case. 

For a girl who spent the majority of her life compartmentalizing everything, it has been quite the challenge to accept that those compartments eventually run together. Old me used to have work life, and night life, and church life, and family life, and everything fit neatly in its own little room. I didn't agree to any event or situation where those spaces would connect.

I was in total control. I was safe.

Picture all of those rooms around me in a circle with one door in and out. Every door faced me in the center, and nothing connected. I was the center. I was the gate keeper. I was in control. 

Therefore, I was safe. 

But...there was a problem. I was a different person in each one of those environments. I put on the clothes that fit the situation. I put on the opinions and the personality traits of the person who fit the room before I walked in to the space. In an effort to protect myself...I had lost myself. Or maybe myself never actually developed...because I developed this behavior as a child.

If you thought you knew me then, you didn't...you only knew the part I played for the room...but it wasn't malicious or devious...because I didn't even know myself. 

I didn't even have a self.

The girl in the center of the room was empty...she was just a shell. Step into a room...any room...and she came alive but only in the confines of that space and set of expectations. On her own...she was nothing and she was lonely. 

It was at the loneliest point of my life that God pierced through the darkness with a painless pinprick of life giving light. Through journaling and scripture, I began a dialogue with the God that I always knew was there, but willfully ignored for the majority of my life. He was the silent observer in every situation. He was a patient presence in my life, and in the emptiest moment of my life He was still there whispering to my heart...I know who you are. 

Fast forward twenty years and you see a different person. I am no longer trapped. I am no longer alone. And...maybe, most importantly, I am no longer the center. 

It took a lot of work to break through the walls I had constructed. I thought those boundaries would keep me safe, but I learned that the wrong kind of boundaries can hurt just as much as not having any. 

Now...I welcome the transitions. I can look back and see the way God has used them in my past, and that gives me confidence in His ability to do the same for my future. So if you are in a place in your life where something is ending, but hasn't ended, and something is beginning, but hasn't begun...I encourage you to open yourself up to the guidance of God's word, and choose to trust in His ability. 

He won't fail. He won't. 

Time Flys

It has been 12 years since I typed a post on this blog. 

It has been so long that I wasn't sure the blog was still available...but here it is...floating out in the cloud of online information. When I returned from the mission field a chapter of my life closed...but you cannot know me as a person without knowing me as a missionary. So in an effort to bridge the gap and introduce all of my new friends to my history, I am bringing back Heather's High Points. 

Time is the one and only truly non-renewable resource. I have always purposed to use it wisely. 

It has been a while since I directed any time towards writing and musing, but the time has come again for the revival of this medium and reconnection to my history. If you would like to continue along with this stay tuned. If you want to move on, click the unsubscribe button and I fondly wish you the best. 

So CHEERS to all the new adventures we will have together, while including a link honoring those from the past. 2026 promises to be a wonderful ride. 

Going is Easy, Leaving is Always Harder

As our family begins the transition of moving back to the USA, we are looking forward to some things and are anxious about others. We know that God is in control, and that He will make our path straight. We look to Him for everything.

I have moved many times in my 31 years of life. It was one of the things God used to show me that moving to the mission field was not much different from all of the other times I had moved. One thing I have learned is that going is easy, but leaving is always harder.

There is excitement in the going, an energy, a restlessness that can only be satisfied once all of your bags are packed and you are sitting on the plane headed into the future. There is a moment when peace descends on you, and you know that there is nothing left to do but look to the future. That moment is serene, all of the stress build-up that got you to that moment melts away, and you can just rest. It is like God himself has the plane in his hands, and is carrying you to your destination. Then there is an anticipation of what will happen next, a piquing of the adventurous spirit. A certain-ness comes out of knowing you are doing the right thing, and creates a boldness to go ye therefore.

It is all very exciting.

But the leaving...oh the leaving is always more difficult. A separation begins to form even before you go. There are those that are uncertain whether what you are doing is right, and their questions bring up all kinds of feelings: doubt, fear, defensiveness, boldness, indifference, and many others. There is a sadness, an emptiness that grows in your heart for all of the people that you love, and will leave. Of course you will stay in-touch, but it is never the same as living day-in-and-day-out with them. Being in the trenches of life - shoulder to shoulder with someone - is not the same as being on another battlefield, even if it is the same war. There is an uncertainty about the work that you will leave behind - will others come and fill the gap?

It is all very painful.

That is where the trust part comes in, leaning on God - trusting that He knows everyone's needs and will fill them according to His perfect will. Realizing and embracing the fact that He knows things we don't. Remembering that we are just visitors in this world - nomads, tent dwellers - and that our home is with Him in eternity. All we can do is trust. Trust His voice. Trust His peace. Trust His Word. Then we have to go.

So we are trying to focus on leaving well, pouring into relationships as best we can, telling people that we still love them, even though we are leaving them, and pointing them towards God to fill the gap. I personally think that God intentionally put going and leaving together, so that we can confront the feelings that arise and choose to depend on Him - not only for ourselves, but for everyone else involved too. He gives us an opportunity to take it all in, and choose Him.

Are there things that you are going to and leaving from in your life?

Change Talk

I haven't written on the blog a while, but that is not because I haven't been writing in my head. Do you ever do that...answer an email in your head, and then forget to actually answer it in real life.

Apparently, I do that with blogging as well.

I have been writing a lot in my head, and in my heart. There is a lot to write about when everything in your life will change. One of the most difficult parts about this kind of change is that is doesn't happen now, it happens later...but is still happens now, because you can't help but think about the later.

For those of you who don't know what all of this change talk is about, 2015 marks the end of the 5 year commitment I made to help Healing Hands Global and the Williams Family carry out the vision to bring health, hope and healing to people of the Third World. It's not like that number was ever really set in stone, you see when I was praying about staying on after my internship back in 2008 I felt God leading me to help the Williams with the creation of a transferable model - a system - that could be used as a guide for starting other rural medical facilities in developing nations. I knew it was going to take a long time, and I felt like 3-5 years would be enough. Then I thought, it's the mission field and everything takes longer, let's go with 5 years.

See the thing about that is...at some point the model would be finished - not in a fine tuned sense, because that always needs to happen. But in a general sense I would at some point work myself out of a job. The things that one person managed haphazardly would be managed by more people with excellence because the system would be in place to keep things true to the vision.

But the other thing about that is...that I never really thought it would happen. OK, hold on...don't run off on me yet. I always had faith that the model would come together, I just never thought that I would leave it. I didn't think that I would have to turn it over. Maybe it is like dropping your kid off at daycare for the first time - it's hard, but then you realize that they are learning things, and that (heaven forbid) they actually like being away from you for a while, and it gets better. But honestly...who likes daycare? Wouldn't you rather stay home? Wouldn't I rather stay on the mission field? In my comfort zone? In my routine? 

But as 2014 approached there was something different in my spirit. A sense of change approaching. I thought it would go away, but it didn't. And then I remembered this feeling, the restlessness, the itchiness for more...the same thing I felt before God led me to leave my job and start the Elevate Internship in 2007. The long ago feeling that began the first chapter of this missions adventure.

But wait. 
I am already on the mission field. 
I can't feel like that again.
Can I?

Prayer. Fasting. Prayer. Then I finally had the courage to talk to Mark about it, and it turns out he was feeling the same thing and was also praying about it.

More prayer - together. Then we pulled together enough courage to talk to Dr. Martin and Wendy about our feelings.

Lord help us, can you be calling us away? 

I said I would never be a missionary.
Then I said I would never go back.
I am noticing a pattern.

Then we were traveling in the states. Still seeking, asking our HPC leadership for prayer, every day asking God for clarity, and then not wanting to hear what he was saying.  Return.

Confirmation after confirmation finally led to submission. Humility. It is not about what we want, it is about what He wants. It has always been about what He wants.

But still my heart is breaking, the sadness is overwhelming at times. Fear threatens to over take - what will people think? Then I remember...these are all of the feelings that came after the call into ministry. These are the thoughts and feelings I battled when I stepped out of the boat in faith and walked on the waters of uncertainty.

The devil's strategy hasn't changed: divert attention from God's will, muddy the waters with emotion, decrease visibility with obstacles. Oh, how much I have learned from Peter.

I do not know what the future holds, but I do know who holds our future.

So as the waves of emotion roll over me I cling to the only Rock that is steady. I stand on the only Unchanging thing. I hold fast to our Strong Tower, and believe.

The Other Brother

I am not sure that I have ever written about the story Jesus tells in Luke chapter 15. I know that I have thought about it often, and probably journaled about it. We were at a mountain wide missionary prayer gathering yesterday (I know that sounds uber spiritual, but it's really not), and friend of mine mentioned that she had been reading the story of the lost son, and that it seemed every where she turned she was being reminded of it, and more of its meaning was being revealed to her. You know when God is really trying to get his message across it seems like there are big red arrows and flashing neon signs everywhere you turn. Well, the fact that she even mentioned that story was one of those signs for me.

I really love the parables...they are like story time with Jesus. I always loved story time as a child, we would all gather around whichever adult was willing to read to us...the older ones eager to get it over with (too cool for school), the younger ones asleep before the end (who can blame them), but I was somewhere in the middle - enthralled, captured, living the moment in my mind...maybe even in my dreams.

The parables are like the perfect cartoon movie experience. They are so simple to understand that a child can grasp the message...but they are layered with a rich literary goodness to keep the older audience engaged. Everyone leaves with something, everyone gets fed, and if you choose to look deeper you won't be disappointed. The story of the lost son, is no exception.

There are there main characters in the story: The Father, the brother that leaves, and the brother that stays. Now the usual re-telling of the story focuses on the son that basically tells his dad that he wishes he was dead (sounds like a teenager to me) and takes his inheritance and hits the road. He goes out into the world and does anything he wants to...mostly things he knows he shouldn't. He runs out of cash, ends up in the worst spot imaginable. Then he remembers what a good guy his dad is, and returns home hoping beyond all hope that his father will have mercy on him and let him be a servant in his house. As he gets closer to home, the bible even says that he was still a long way off, his father sees him in the distance and runs to meet him. He is gracious and throws his arms around the lost son, gives him some new clothes, a ring and then throws him a big party.

Enter the other brother...the one who stayed behind. He comes back from a long day in the fields caring for his father's flock...no doubt sweaty, dirty, smelly, and exhausted...and walks right into a celebration for his lost brother. But there is no happiness in his heart, no excitement...only resentment, contempt and judgment for this man who disgraced his father, ran off and left him to bear the burden and responsibility of the household that should have been shared by them both.

Pause for the music that conveys the tension between these brothers, and cut to the brokenhearted father in the corner wondering where he went wrong in raising sons that can't get along.

Drama in it's finest folks. Just add in a woman and you have an episode of Jerry Springer.

So the surface message here is that The Father has grace for his sons, and forgives them each in the way they needed it most. The lost son needed redemption...he was already convicted to come home and confess to his father. The other brother needed correction...he was doing all the "right things" with the wrong heart.

The deeper message here, I believe, is that we are both brothers rolled up into one exceedingly complex mess of sin, regret, denial, self-righteous judgement of others, rebellion, resentment, unforgiveness, disrespect, poor stewardship, contempt, and fear. We have let the world use and destroy the inheritance of skills, talents, fortune, and gifts that God has given us...then we turn right around and blame others for our condition. We shower others with judgment when they need the very same grace that we so desperately long for. We resent the work we have been given to do because of something someone else did to us, that they are probably not even aware hurt us like it did. And all of this blinds us to the fact that we already had full access to the Father...Luke 15:31, "Look, dear son, you have always stayed by me, and everything I have is yours."

We have access. The door is open. His grace is sufficient. His love is bigger. There is nothing to fear.
 
Yesterday my friend said, our goal should be to look to the Father, to be more like Him, and she is right. Thank God that he sees what a mess we are, but extends grace to us anyway - that he sees our need for grace and conviction, for forgiveness and correction. He loves us so much that he will accept us no matter what dumpster we have been diving in AND so much that he will show us the areas that we need to clean up - for our sakes!

I could keep going with this, but this blog is already like a million words long and I have a lot of work to do today. But, I couldn't do anything else until I got this out. Thanks for listening to my ramblings, my thoughts and my confessions...and as always I would love to hear yours.

The Parable of the Sower

I have always loved the Parable of the Sower (click on the link if you haven't ready the parable in a while). I'm not exactly sure why I like it so much, maybe it's all of the analogies or maybe it's because Jesus says so much in such a few words.  Since I have had such a hard time getting my seeds to sprout and keeping the plants alive in the drought, my mind continually wanders back to this passage. 
 This is my thought pattern while tending my own garden:

"What an irresponsible farmer, just throwing seed around like that! Doesn't he know what a precious thing he has?!?" Then I hear Him say...he is scattering it because it is precious. BURN! The farmer wants everyone he comes in contact with to hear of God's great love, so he scatters it everywhere he goes. Then I have to ask myself, am I keeping my seed under lock and key? Or am I sharing it with all who will listen - "Who ever has ears to hear, let them hear."

Then I think about the seeds that fall on the rocky soil and into the weeds - both of which are problems in my gardening world. I think, "Man, that farmer has some good seed if it is going to sprout up everywhere it falls!" (we all know the problems I have had with seeds!) and then, "What kind of gardener would just let those seedlings die?" Since I had to coax my little seeds into life, those little plants are precious to me - they represent lots of invested time and work, so I am not about to let them die just because they are planted in the wrong place!

I had this tiny cayenne pepper plant that was the only survivor out of his batch. I planted him in a shady spot in the garden to protect him from the harsh tropical sun. As he started to grow, I realized that there were only leaves on the sunny side of the plant - his backside, if you will, was completely bare! I was afraid that the peppers would start growing on one side and the plant would break because of the one sided weight. What to do? Transplant! I moved the little guy to a sunny spot and now he has leaves all around and is blooming like there's no tomorrow. That has been a theme with a few of my struggling plants, I have had to transplant a few times to find the best spot for them.

This thought brought me to the passage in 1st Corinthians, where Paul is addressing the church and says that (paraphrasing) some people get to plant the seed, and some get to water it, but only God makes it grow - and that each person plays their part in the process, each person has their own purpose.

You see we all have jobs in this garden of a world, and it is very important that we find out what those jobs are - what our purpose is in the Kingdom. I personally think that there are many more jobs in the garden other than planting and watering - you have to pull the weeds, and treat the soil, you have to pick off the bugs, and make sure the plants are growing well. I guess the important part is finding out what your purpose in the garden happens to be - and maybe the more challenging aspect is that you could have different roles in different people's lives at different times in their life.

Sometimes, people need help being transplanted from their old life of sin into a healthy christian environment. That job has to be done at the perfect time, and with gentle loving-kindness not to damage their growing leaves and roots. They have to be watered immediately and tended closely so that they can survive the move. But once they set in, they will have what they need to grow deep roots and produce fruit of their own.

I think all too many times the seed sprouts and there is no one around to care for the tender little plant. It may start to grow up in the rocky soil or get choked out by the weeds of life, but it doesn't mean that the plant is any less precious to the Gardener!

I, for one, will start paying more attention to the which role I have in the lives of the people God has put in my garden. Should I water them? Should I feed them? Should I pull weeds (ouch!)? Should I transplant them? Always remembering that it is God that makes them grow, and that the actions I take should be guided by the Holy Spirit - not my own desire to rush their growth. It seems like such a difficult task, but so was starting a garden in my grass covered, rocky soiled, ant infested backyard! I am so glad we have the Holy Spirit to guide us through all of the challenges we face in life, let's just take them one day at a time! 

Prepare for the Rain

It has been very dry here lately. So dry, in fact, that any rain we do get is sucked up by the ground in a matter of minutes, and gives us no relief from the billowing dust clouds produced by the traffic on our dirt road. On a side note, we don't just have dirt on our dirt road - much of the traffic is actually cattle, horses, pigs, dogs and chickens - so when it's dusty, it's also a little more than dusty, if you get my drift.

Dry. Hot. Dusty.
Hot. Dusty. Dry.
Dusty. Dry. Hot.

Any way you slice it, we need some rain! Not only to keep the, ahem, dust down, but also to water my shriveling little garden. I have a feeling that when the seed packet said to plant my vegetables in full sun, they weren't talking about 12 degrees from the equator full sun.

You say..."Heather, just water them yourself, silly girl." And to that I say, "This month alone the water has been out of service for at least 10 days." I have resorted to using old rain water we caught in a bucket to keep things alive, but it's just not the same as fresh water; I think the plants can tell the difference.

I was outside trying to water everything with a bucket and a repurposed yogurt container, and I thought, "I should prepare for rain," Then somewhere deep in the cobwebs of my mind I remembered a story in the Old Testament about a drought, 2 Kings chapter 3. The prophet Elisha was told to go out and dig ditches, and that they would be filled with water. So in the blazing hot sun, covered in dust from the road, I dug some ditches. I carved out little channels for the water to flow throughout my garden, taking care not to disturb the shriveling plants. They needed water, but too much and they could drown or get washed away.

Now in the 2 Kings, there was no rain. God filled the ditches without using natural means. Everyone woke up the next day and the ditches were filled with water. That's not exactly how it went for me. About 2am we woke up to thunder and lightening and ... RAIN! Lots and lots of rain...the thunder was so loud and the lightening was so bright that it scared me at times. The rain was so heavy that I had to go check on the baby because I wouldn't have been able to hear him crying over the deluge.

Then I heard Mark say, "Why did you have to dig those ditches?!" And my reply was, "He told me to."

I am not exactly sure how to process all of that. I know that God is faithful to his word. I know that we should be obedient to him even when he asks us to do something that takes a lot of work and may seem a little silly at the time. I know that although his presence is refreshing it can be a little scary too - He is the Almighty God, Creator of heaven and earth, and deserves the reverence that comes with that.

Are there areas in your life where you need to dig some ditches? Do you need to be obedient even though what he asks of you requires you to get personally invested? Are you too worried about what other people will think of you? We should be challenged by Elisha's story, but also encouraged by God's faithfulness.

Boundaries Abounding

I have been trying to spend an hour in the garden on most days; with a 6 month old and a job, this may or may not happen as planned. But I look forward to putting Will down for his first nap of the day and heading out to the garden while it is still "cool" outside.

I have been trying to turn the patch of grass behind the house into dirt where I can plant my little seedlings. And let me just tell you how hard that is! I can see why we use grass as a ground cover - it's roots are thick and it will grow and grow and grow...and, well, grow!

At the rate I am moving I will have the plot ready to plant in November, but I will have some great looking biceps! Fighting the grass has turned me onto a little something important for all of our lives...boundaries.

3 Reasons I need boundaries in my garden:

1: If the grass is too close to where I am going to plant, I won't be able to rip it out without hurting the tender little roots of my seedlings.
2: Because grass is so good at covering ground, it won't be long before it creeps back into the areas from which I have already removed it.
3: The grass could suck all the nutrients out of the ground and keep my veggies from ever producing.

Without clearly defined boundaries in the garden, I can't see when the grass is coming back into areas I have already worked into dirt. I need a buffer zone of dirt between the grass and my plants, so I can see the grass in time to cut it back.

It is the same with sin in our lives. Say for example we are not committing a particular sin anymore, but we are still wound up in the lifestyle that promotes its growth, we will never be able to grow into the new things God has for us. Without clear boundaries we won't be able to see when that sin starts creeping back into our lives.

Separating ourselves from sin is a very important part of our Christian walk...and honestly this can be the most difficult part because it requires us to make sacrifices. We will have to stop hanging out with certain people that continue to practice the sin we are trying to be free from, stop eating at certain restaurants that tempt us to overindulge, maybe even stop watching a particular type of movie that has bad language or is full of violence, this principle applies to so many things.

But what are those sacrifices when compared to the fact that Jesus gave his life for us? He already paid the price of death for those sins, even the ones we still commit, and the only thing he is asking us to do is clean house. We need to create a set of boundaries so that we can identify sin as it starts to slither back into our lives. Without boundaries it is hard to see right from wrong, and it is hard not to hurt the good things when you have to rip out the bad.

Another difficult thing is that grass isn't always bad. I like it in the yard. It keeps the yard from getting muddy when it rains, it hides all the rocks, and is pretty when it is trimmed up. But, I can't have it in my garden because it will kill the plants. So some things fall into a gray area, they aren't inherently bad when they are in the right place, but if they start creeping into every area of our lives they can choke the life out of the good things.

Let's take a look at our lives this week and see if we need to establish a set of boundaries, or if we need to do some weeding in areas we have stopped tending. God will show us what we need to do.He is faithful and true. I love you guys!

When the Garden Attacks

Last time we were together I mentioned the word ants and the fact that I was wearing gloves to protect me from their fiery stings. Apparently I have been trying to make a garden in the world's largest ant-bed. These little critters are EVERYWHERE! I can't work in the same patch of grass for more than a few minutes at a time because they invade my shoes and sting my toes.

Did I mention that these were FIRE ants? Take the good ole Louisiana fire ant bite and then rub some Tabasco sauce in it and you will get close to what these feel like when they strike. If I showed you a picture of my legs right now you would see that they are peppered with red bite marks from these evil critters.

I tried poison.

I tried digging into the ant pile to kill the queen ant.

I tried different poison.

I almost tried diesel...I am a desperate woman.

Finally I have decided that I will have to share the ground with them....for now. I will keep killing them, one by one, if I have to, but for now the only thing I can do is protect myself. My armor: gloves, socks, pants, shoes, and long sleeves. I'll never get a tan at this rate, but at least I won't become one big, red, itchy bug bite.

Now, I know the ants are out there. I know what I have to do to protect myself. And yet, I still get the occasional sting...here's why:

1. I am too prideful. Yep, prideful...I know they are there so I will just watch for them and kill them before they sting me. HA, that never works.
2. I say, "I'll just be out there a minute, they won't have time to sting me." You know how long it takes for an ant to sting you? Me neither, but it is quick, like lightening. You can't out run them.
3. I am too lazy to put on all of the armor. I'll just wear my gloves, and then I get stung on the toe.
4. I stay in one spot too long. If I am there long enough, that one rogue ant will pick its way through all of my defenses and strikes. 

It is so interesting that these are the most common causes, in my life, for sin. I am being prideful, lazy, or I am around sin too long and then it just becomes natural again. But God gives me grace, and strength, and energy when I ask for it to overcome these things. His mercies are new every morning!

The Seed Saga

Apparently, the garden of Eden was not located on the equator, because there is a total of 27 minutes that fall into the "cool of the day" category. This morning working a section of dirt (with gloves on to shield me from ant attacks).

I wish I had taken a before picture of the garden for you, but it won't be hard to imagine. I'll describe it for you: grass. Yep, and lots of it. See, that was easy. This whole garden idea started about a year ago when I started buying vegetable seeds that I came across in the hardware store. I was like, hey, one day I should plant a garden. Little did I know that seeds have an expiration date, so when I planted them all a year later they didn't do what seeds are supposed to do...grow.

I had my little seed pods, and even special seed dirt (yep, there is such a thing) and I still got nothin'. Nada. Oh wait!!!! Three weeks after the seeds were supposed to germinate something started happening!!!! Little green things started sprouting all over the seed cups! Success!

Wait a minute...all these little green things look the same. Let them grow a little longer, and see what happens. Maybe plants look the same when they start sprouting. Fast forward a week, and they still look the same. Apparently, I was successful at growing grass. Great.

And the Lord saith to me, you can have bad seed. Really? I thought seeds were like super freeze-dried protected plants. That even after millions of years they can sprout again and make a little replica of mommy and daddy. Nope. I was wrong. You can have bad seed that makes bad fruit, or you can have just plain ole bad seed. The no grow kind, the stagnant christian life kind, the make you wait a month before you find out you have wasted your time and energy because nothing is ever going to grow kind!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OK, venting complete.

So really folks, take a look at the seed you are planing. Are you sowing old seed and expecting it to produce?

But, great news, Mark's mom brought me a bunch of seeds from the great US of A, so I should be up and running again soon. =D

In the Garden

There is an old hymn that bears the name of this post, and its gentle refrain sings the words

...And He walks with me and he talks with me, And He tells me I am His own, And the joy we share as we tarry there, None other has ever known...

 I don't think it was an accident that the place God chose to put Adam and Eve was a garden. In fact, He didn't just plunk them down in the middle of some pretty flowers and call it good, nope, Genesis tells us that He prepared a place for them. He separated the water from the land, separated the day from the night, added animals and plants, and then He created man and woman and placed them into what we know as Eden. Eden...the closest place to Utopia we could ever hope to find. 

God was first. He was there before anything was, so He gets to be first at everything. Therefore, He was the first gardener. And since that is the first thing recorded in the Bible, His written communication to us, I think gardening is special to Him. Even Jesus used a lot of agricultural references in His parables and teachings.

I have started a garden. There are a lot of benefits to having a garden, but the one I hope to get is knowing God's mind a little better. So I am out there in the yard with my hands in the dirt realizing what God meant when He told Adam that, "...by the sweat of your brow you will have food to eat..." (Genesis 3).

I think to myself, He should have added, "and by the stinging of ants."

So, maybe there will be some more posts in the future about my gardening adventures and how God speaks to me there. Would y'all like that?

Living for Today

I would say one of the challenges a big picture/forward thinker has in daily life is seeing what IS happening versus seeing what WILL happen. This is something I struggle with regularly.

Although my body lives in the present, my mind usually lives at least a month into the future...sometimes more than that. My desire is to plan for the future, so that I will be a good steward of the future when it happens.

BUT, I am realizing (over and over again) that too much dreaming for the future can cause me to overlook the dreams of long ago that are coming true today.

If this is your story too, then this is my prayer for us:
Lord, help us to be present in the present, so that you can be rightly glorified. If our heads are too high in the clouds, we wont see that the rain we have been praying for is already making the garden grow.

God's glories are too numerous to count, but that shouldn't stop us from trying! Today, let's be grateful for today.

I love y'all!

Merry Christmas from the Youngers

From our family to yours, 

We wish you a Very Merry Christmas! 

And pray these blessings over you:

May your hearth be filled to overflowing with the warmth and comfort that Christ gives.

May you love unconditionally, forgive radically and trust in the One who gave it all.

May laughter fill the halls of your hearts and joy hang down from the rafters.

We pray that the food memories of this holiday season would linger long into the coming year.

Feliz Navidad y Prospero Año!

The Past Four Years

Many of you know Mark and I recently returned home to Honduras after a trip to visit family and friends in the States (the whole month of Oct). We had an awesome time running the roads, as my mom would call it, and sharing all about what God is doing in Honduras. We were blessed above and beyond anything we could have ever dreamed of in preparation for our expanding family (Baby Younger is set to arrive November 18th)!

While in the States, I had a chance to grab lunch with an old friend. Many of you probably know her, or know of her - Robin Rhodes. She was my mentor during my time as an Elevate Intern, with Healing Place Church. We met once a month for lunch and talked about life. Those were some of the best lunches I ever had, and not just because I was a starving intern!

So, Robin and I met up at one of our old favorites...Las Palmas, and had a great time catching up. About half way through lunch she looked at me and said, "Do you realize it has been 4 years since you moved to the mission field, fell in love, got married, and are now starting a family?" Honestly...I had not realized that all of those HUGE life changing things had occurred in such a short period of time.

In
Just
Four
Years.

Chances are that if you are following hard after God, a lot has happened in the past four years of your life too. Life seems to be a ridiculous adventure when you are sold out to His plans. Not all of it is fun, mind you...some of it can be quite mundane...but it is an adventure nonetheless.

When I started Elevate School of Ministry in 2007, I never would have guessed that four years later I would be married on the mission field expecting my first child. Only God knows what the next four years will hold for the Younger Family, but if the last four are any indication...we are in for one wild ride!

I hope you guys continue to ride with us!

Thoughts on Suffering

I was thinking of a friend this morning who is suffering. I know we all have people around us that are going through difficult times. People who's boat is being rocked by the waves of life and have little hope of the storm ever calming. Circumstances can seem so overwhelming at times that it feels like the rudder of life has been broken, and that chances are slim of ever finding true North again.

When faced with the suffering of others there are two roads we can take.

Most of the time, because we don't like being uncomfortable and vulnerable we take the well traveled grief-super-highway and offer some type of recipe/cure. A step by step guide that makes us feel like we consoled the person, and since it contains facts and scripture it feels like a good solid thing to say. You know, something like quoting Romans 8:23, "all things work for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose," and fleeing the scene.

But what if we take the path less traveled? What if we allow ourselves to walk down the darker road - the one over grown with brush and briars - and grieve with them? What if we could show the tender parts, the soft squishy pink vulnerable parts, the true weakness  of our humanity and just grieve with them?

I wonder what our Christian communities would look like if we grieved together, baring our weaknesses so that God's strength could shine through them. He is the one who comforts. He is the one who heals. He is the one who lights up the situation. Not us. All we can do as humans, even followers of Christ, is mess things up when we get our little glory-stealing hands on them. When we try to be personal saviors to those in need what we are really saying is, "I have the answer," or worse "I am the answer."

I don't pretend to have all of the answers, or even some of the right ones. I don't understand the complete theology of suffering. But I have seen the bonds of Christian Brotherhood strengthened when suffering and grief are met with true Christ-like compassion.

We definitely have a lot of food for thought in the following passage from Streams in the Desert:

If you aspire to be a person of consolation, if you want to share the priestly gift of sympathy, if you desire to go beyond giving commonplace comfort to a heart that is tempted, and if you long to go through the daily exchanges of life with the kind of tact that never inflicts pain then you must be prepared to pay the price of a costly education - for like Christ you must suffer. 

Fredrick William Robertson

6 Month Mini-Recap

I guess it is officially time to announce to the blog realm that I am pregnant...especially since I have been that way for 5 months now. I can't believe that time is passing by so quickly. This year has brought with it so many changes to my personal life, it has been so fulfilling in my marriage to Mark, and in out time of service in Honduras. It is hard to know where to start, or which stories to share since I have been away from the blog for so long. It seems that the world of social media has pulled away from the newsletter style of the blog and moved more toward instant updates via Facebook, Twitter and my personal favorite - Instagram (these go to my Facebook page also). So if you are wondering what I have been up to since the last blog click on any of the links above to get more up to date updates, lol.

At the beginning of this year, Mark and I set off on our journey toward parenthood. Little did we know that Younger + Stewart = very fertile soil. We conceived in February and were able to make the announcement to family and friends 12 weeks later. Try keeping that a secret for 3 months - who comes up with these rules anyway! Now, there are more things to think about. Not only do you have to think about fitting a newborn into your life, but literally how to fit the child and its stuff into a 1 room apartment. Good thing we have until November to figure all of that out!

I am so glad God designed parenthood to be a process - not just an instant event. He is a good planner. ;-)

So, now I do life and ministry with another person on board. And now that he - yep, it's a boy! - is moving around all of the time, I definitely know there is someone in there. If you look close enough you can even see him kicking and punching me - don't worry...I will spank him real good once he gets out.

We have had an amazing summer serving with Dr. Martin and Wendy. This year, we actually had 4 interns during the summer (which I am convinced God sent since I can't do what I used to do), and 1 of them, Tabitha Heirs (RN), will stay on until November and another one, Zach Gray (pre-med), will stay until May 2013. This is the first year we started off the season with Intern Handbooks, Volunteer Manuals, a devotional book written by Jack Dyer, and even a Missions Training workbook!!! I am so grateful to have materials to pass on to our volunteers now, thanks to Healing Place Church and Bay Community Church for sharing their resources with HHGlobal, so we could make a jungle version of these oh-so-important documents. We sill have a little way to go for things to be perfectly laid out, and once we get there I am sure we will learn some more things and want to change it up a bit. Don't want to get stagnant, ya know? So those manuals, were a giant step towards fulling Martin and Wendy's vision to create model that can be replicated in other Third World countries. Hooray!!!

We are also getting a little more tech-y with fiber-optic internet, internal document sharing networks, and back-up servers. Yeah, I just said that stuff like I know what it means! I am so grateful for my Do-Anything-He-Puts-His-Mind-To-Husband and others like Phillip Leblanc, James Gardner, Josh Foster, Dr. Cheri Leblanc, Tony Austin and all those that have helped us piece together the little bits of technology at the hospital. We really feel like we are taking steps to make the Jungle Hospital a cutting edge medical center.

On top of all of that, Dr. John and Mrs. Ana Tucher have joined the battle and are volunteering a year of their lives to help see patients at the Jungle Hospital so we don't have to close the doors when we are away doing community outreaches. And since Dr. John is an OBGYN, he will be instrumental in developing the Labor and Delivery ward of the hospital.

Mark has grown so much this year. He has become what Dr. Martin calls his "favorite APP" aka All Purpose Person. I know it makes Mark feel good that Dr. Martin trusts him to take care of things for him, and to make sure the hospital is safe and runs well in his absence. I really love and respect my husband, and I am so grateful that God saw fit for us to be together. AND I can't wait to see him become a dad...that is going to be so cool! Now he will have a fishing buddy for life!

Well, I had better cut this thing off! There is no way I can catch you up on everything that has happened in the 6 months we have been apart. I love you guys, and pray that you are hanging close to God!

Remember to check out those other social media links to have more frequent updates, if you so desire. 

Only a Fool...

I was reading this morning in a book recommended by a friend, The Power of a Praying Wife. It is a really good book, kind of like a devotional that teaches a woman how to go to God in prayer with requests about her relationship instead of trying to "fix" things herself. It teaches quiet submission, but not doormat cowardliness - if that makes any sense.

Anyway, reading the book every morning has been something I look forward to. The author's quick wit and down to earth answers are very relational, and you immediately feel a kindredness within her. BUT, there is a disclaimer in the beginning of the book...it basically says that while reading through its pages, you will most likely be convicted - yep that's right...you, the wife. And, it's true.

It's like sitting in a really good sermon, and saying, "I really hope so-and-so is here tonight to hear this." And then you get smoked by the Holy Spirit who says something to the tune of, "I hope you are taking notes for yourself. If not we will have another intervention, and it won't be the kind where you get to sit and listen to someone talk."

Yeah, that is what happened this morning, except without the dialogue. I am reading chapter 11, so I am kind of used to asking for forgiveness before I even get to the point of praying for my husband. The section that caught me was this one:

We have to remember that all men think they are doing the right thing. "Every way of a man is right in his own eyes..." (Proverbs 21:2). But God is the only one who can give true discernment. 

It goes on to say...

The bible describes a fool as someone who only "trusts in his own heart" (Proverbs 29:26). He despises wisdom (Proverbs 23:9). He always wants to talk and never wants to listen (Proverbs 18:2). In other words, you can't tell him anything. 

OK, so it's not like I run around yelling I hate wisdom. I don't verbally say that I trust in my own heart or that I am always right. But, if I take an honest look at my actions, at my body language, my motives in conversation...they are usually designed so that I come out on top - so that I am right and you are wrong. And if we expand that to all of humanity, like the bible does in Proverbs 21:2, you can pretty much extrapolate that everyone naturally thinks that they are right, and everyone else is wrong. (Only a wise person looks outside of himself for guidance - he asks God for discernment.)

Hmmmm...I bet the devil loves that one. The poor humans can't control their tongues AND they always think they are right. This should be easy. Let's go pick a fight. You know what? I will probably just happen on its own, and we can sit back and watch. 

The good news is, that with the help of the Holy Spirit we can recognize our foolishness. We can ask for forgiveness from God, and then, with the help of Jesus we can repent. The whole Trinity is ready to take action.

The book goes on to say:

[God] can give us wisdom when we ask for it. Wisdom brings success (Ecclesiastes 10:10), and it enables us to learn from experience (Proverbs 15:31)...The bible says, "The Fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding" (Proverbs 9:10). 

So, we can start by praying that we will have the fear of the Lord, and that we will keep godly council. We can pray that the Holy Spirit will show us when we are trusting in our own hearts, and when we are leaning on our own understanding (Proverbs 3:5).

The next time I am in a conversation,  I am going to hear the other person. Not just see my vision, not just force my opinion, or push for my way. Just listen, ask for discernment, pray for wisdom, and submit, knowing that in His sovereignty all things will work to the good of those who love him and are called according to his purpose.

I hope you have an incredible day, and walk in wisdom!

The Double Yield

The message of grace has been a hot topic around here for the past few days. Actually, Mark and I continue to encounter this theme regularly in our everyday lives.

Grace is such a deeply complex idea for something that is so simple to access. All you have to do is accept God.

There is even a song that tries to explain how amazing grace really is, but falls short on so many levels.

By grace we are saved...
His grace is sufficient...

These are familiar phrases, but can we ever fully understand grace?

I think that salvation is just the beginning of grace. As Papa Jack said it is the "tip of the iceberg." It is the first point of contact between God and man. It is the first admission that we cannot save ourselves. It is the first step on a journey of yielding.

I looked up the word "yield" yesterday. I think it is very interesting that there are two common definitions. 1. To surrender. 2. To produce.

If we yield to God, by accepting His grace - the idea that we can't do anything alone, that we need Him for everything, that we need to surrender our selfish ambitions in favor of His will in our lives - then He will yield a mighty work in us and through us. He will produce a harvest.

God will cause great things to happen if we only listen and obey...like all little children should.

"For I tell you the truth, unless you turn from your sins and become like little children, you will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven."
Matthew 18:3 NLT