Jun 4, 2008

Things I Choose Not to Worry About

photo of a waterfall on one of our hikes

There are some things I have decided not to worry about. It's not that I don't want to think about them or that I don't want to work hard at fixing them, I am just choosing to worry about them. I am refusing to let these things take over my mind and destroy my joy. And because I actually wrote them down in my journal I have a list of things I can go back to and say...Oh no you don't, that is on my list and I am not going to worry about it.

The problem with that is since I am the only one who knows about the list...I have been secretly worrying about some of the items. I know what you are thinking...but it really has been like a subconscious worry and then once I recognize it for what it is I bring out the list and say...Ah ha I caught you, you sneaky little worry thing.

So in an effort to solve this secret subconscious worry epidemic I am going to share my list with you. So please keep me accountable. If worry somehow sneaks its way into any of my posts call me out! Leave me a comment and say...Heather, that was on your list and I believe you are worrying about it.

I would really appreciate your help on this! Thanks in advance!

Things I choose not worry about
  1. finding a good job for the summer
  2. finances
  3. learning spanish
  4. figuring out which ministries to serve in
  5. gas expenses
  6. whether or not to sell my car
  7. spending time with family and friends
  8. taking care of all the Honduras arrangements in only 7 months
  9. writing out a budget
  10. maintaining relationships
  11. getting married
  12. being lonely
  13. losing touch with friends
  14. being without a camera
  15. persecution
  16. moving in and then moving out again
  17. where i will live
  18. what i will pack up
  19. what i will bring with me
  20. what i will store here
  21. getting sick when i move
OK so you are probably thinking...these are legitimate things to consider. And they are, so don't get me wrong. I will have to do all of these things at some point, but I refuse to worry about them. You know that kind of worry that makes you mean to other people because they can't possibly understand what you are going through. That kind of anxiety that paralyzes you. The thoughts that lead down the road of low self esteem, unworthiness and incapability.

I just choose not to do that. So will you help me out? Keep me straight?

photo from the top of a mountain behind our hotel in Swazi


DayVee said...

Miss Heather, I "accidently" ran across your blog. (Is anything reall an accident when God is in ontrol?) I have a close family member who is consumed by their worry, and this is over things and regrets that go back longer than you've been alive. You seem very wise beyond your years to set this marker down and refuse to give a foothold to worry. I'm have a degree in missions, but through circumstances am not in that vocation. I am determined to let God chart my course where He wills. In the midst of His will there is no room for worry, only the peace He will aford us when we trust in and follow Him. May God bless you on your journey.

Heather Stewart said...

Dayvee - Thanks for your comment!It is not an easy thing but I am really serious about this one. I hope your family member will fight to get free from all that worry. It is worth fighting for!

Anonymous said...

I love you so so much!!!! You are wonderful and beautiful and strangely mysterious and real simultaneously. Weird how close our list resemble each other! LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU!